Greetings from the Pattersons

Karen and Dave were whining about sending Christmas cards (and bailing out the Postal Service). Instead of getting their butts off the sofa, they were busy figuring out what to watch on Netflix.  I decided to take the bull by the horns and write the darn holiday letter for them.

I’m Edith. I am a very distant relative of Karen’s. I live in Florida now. I’m from the “wonderful” side of the family.

Of course, I don’t live with them so I can only guess at what goes on in their atrophied senior brains most of the time. You know they spent the winter in Florida last year and really liked an aging hippie town called Gulfport. It probably took them back to their days of wearing tie-dye and avoiding the draft. It’s pretty pathetic to think those were their glory years.

Don't let your friends wear this

They had to come back to Cleveland eventually and settle into being somewhat “productive.” This meant that Dave got a job as the Executive Director of the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland. No one knows for sure what Dave does there all day. It seems he gets to sample a lot of restaurants where he has “meetings” and he also hangs with “big shots” from University Circle.

Karen thought getting productive was to usher at Playhouse Square and see plays. She also joined a writing group that critiques each others work. If you’ve read her blog you can judge for yourself whether this is working. Oh, she is also developing Quests for the Cuyahoga Valley National Park. She’s tried to explain it to me but it all seems rather vigorous for my 80-year-old body.

The year included hiking trip #17 in Santa Barbara for Karen as well as quick trips to Chautauqua and Rochester New York and Higgins Lake and Deerfield Michigan. Then there was another trip to Napa Valley and Yosemite in September with Karen’s niece Chris. I wonder why Karen doesn’t include me in these trips? She must know she is not in my will.

Karen and Chris at Yosemite

Dave stayed home and worked. Do you get the feeling that there is one person having all the fun and one person doing all the work INCLUDING COOKING?

Being back in Ohio has meant that Dave and Karen get to spend a lot more time with their friends. I’m not sure what their friends think of this. But at least they can always step outside their front door and meet lots of interesting people walking up and down the street since they live near office buildings, homeless shelters, and a police and fire station. Use your imagination.

Since this season represents so many important universal feelings of sharing, togetherness, giving, and compassion, I want to remind Karen and David of one more value they seem to lack: FAMILY FIRST. Give your old Great Great Auntie Edith twice removed a call sometime.

Some of the family: Hans Hite, Evan Hite Moore, Jackson and Leland Hite Whitehouse and Libby Hite Archinal


8 responses to “Greetings from the Pattersons”

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  1. Chris Moore says:

    Hey Edith! We’re awfully glad they are here. Why don’t you come up and try the frozen north this winter? We’ll see if you really are such a tough old bird!

  2. Karen says:

    Harumph! Send me the plane fare and I’ll be there. But watch out! I am high maintenance!

  3. Karen says:

    Cute idea for your annual letter. When do I get to meet Edith?

  4. sahra says:

    Karen, please invite Edith to California too…. I’d love to walk with her!

  5. Margy says:

    You’ve done it again! One big lie after another! When are you going to learn that we are not hoodwinked?! In the meantime, Edith does a pretty good job of knowing what all you do – even if she doesn’t live with you and you won’t send her a ticket to come see you in the flesh!!! (Maybe she’s afraid she’ll find your skin hanging on you like hers hangs on her!)

    Well dearie – a very full year, and I’m glad we were a part of it!!! 🙂 Love you!

  6. Carolyn says:

    Chin up! The “glory” years are yet to come! I can hardly wait!