Life in the Fast Lane

There it was. Crawling across the screen as we watched the morning news.

A California man had been arrested for driving 51 miles while his wife was hanging onto the hood of the minivan. He will spend five years in jail. He pleaded guilty to spousal abuse and assault with a deadly weapon.

I speculated about the argument they were having.  I was wondering if the wife was chasing after him yelling, “Don’t go!  I’ll change!” and caught the hood as he was backing out the driveway.

Dave thought they were having such a heated blow up that the man was threatening to drive over her entire family and she was pleading for him not to do such a rash thing. “Kill me instead!” She’d yelled.

My water aerobics class thought she wanted a “joy ride” like the kids do today. Do kids really do this sort of thing for “joy?”

Joy Ride

I was thinking about the guy riding on the freeway near Stockton swerving in and out of traffic to get the gal to fall off.

Faithful to my promise to always slant the news, I thought I’d do research to find out what happened.

Sure enough, they had a fight. He tried to diffuse the tension by leaving home. She stood in front of the minivan and climbed up on the hood to prevent him from leaving.  A less sympathetic account said the man drove off and turned up the radio so he couldn’t hear her scream.

AND this was not the first brush with the law for this man. In the same week he was reported to have climbed into a 6-foot-deep trash bin and threatened to drown himself (according to the WTF News).

I think both of them need to be locked up together. The woman clearly is a little wacko for climbing up on the hood. What was she thinking? And a man trying to drown himself in a trash bin?  These two deserve each other.

Together behind bars


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  1. Carolyn says:

    Reminds me of Tiger Woods. His sexcapades and her golf club. “The time has come,” the walrus said, “to speak of many things; of shoes and ships and ceiling wax and cabbages and kings and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.” GOOFY.